Hmmm So i think im supposed to feel different today!! I don't ask for much, just a cake. If i get more, than that's great, i wont say no. I find myself grumpy at the looming day every year. My dear husband even had a surprise party lined up at our favorite restaurant about 5 years ago. I had a hissy fit and stayed home, he was devastated and told me that there were people waiting. Its a joke to this day, my sister always thanks me for the party i never attended.
So what to do with myself? I find i can compartmentalize every stage of my life because its been so vast from one experience to the other.
childhood
Youngster
teenager
foreign student
out in the world on my own
fallen
broken
mother
single mother
lost
found
in love
married
religious
student
baby machine (which i loved)
wife
teacher
healer
confidant
mate
friend
support
And now what to do?.......Most of the things Ive become will stay with me forever ie mother hopefully wife! and there are alot of things that t i know, i am and i can improve on always. I met a lady once who made an impression on my life. She said that she would seek out to learn something new each week. She was a stay at home mother, and still is i presume. She said she would pick something each week and learn about it. Well ive been trying to adopt this philosophy since i met her, but with my own twist. I did have a learning buddy but between her and i we have been pregnant since we became friends. So this being my 33rd year of life i am going to either
1- learn something totally new, maybe the piano or take those singing lessons ive always wanted or
2-join a group.
i cant really say joining a group to me is all that different from learning something new, as i don't play well in a team efforts, but maybe i hiking group or something active. or
3-go back to school, which i know in my heart im not ready, nor is my family, for yet.
Ive been sitting on my lounge for the past few days thinking of who or what i am. I am determined that i will look back at this chapter and say "hmm i think i started back when i was 33, yes 33 was the year!"
Now its just choosing something i want to make apart of my self that will hopefully improve me. I think maybe i will start by going to bed! i don't really handle sleep deprivation the way i used to : )
3 comments:
Your friendship has meant so much to me I can't thank you enough for everything.I love you Mel,your a beautiful person inside and out!
Oops that's me isn't it?? I haven't forgot those pistol or archery lessons, yes we have been pregnant alot eh? After our baby machine stage, we can sit back on the porch and talk about the aches that the baby machine stage gave us!! :)
Hey Mel, hmm im pondering on what Im gonna blog about tomorrow - being my bday!
I love how good of a 'home-maker' u are,whata talent!!!
Lovely to hear how ur going xox krystal
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